Music and Lyrics

I'm going to start off this post with  a story and then go onto two sperate ideas. All of these tie into the theme "music" and not the crappy movie with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. ("But Alyssa, that was a good movie!" Hello, do you know who you are talking to? I have a heart of stone romantic comedies don't interest me)

Anyway, so I am at my local dueling piano bar (doesn't every town have one? We have three), and people keep requesting country. As all of you know, I do not like country. I just listen and nod and occasionally groan whenever a new song is played. I write on a napkin "country sucks" and hold it up to my friends whenever they start singing more Garth Brooks. Anything for a laugh.

So this friend of a friend leaned over and said "Except for Taylor Swift". Instead of nodding, I say "Oh, I really don't like Taylor Swift" because well, I don't. He responds with "But what Kayne did was wrong!"

Excuse me? Did I just validate what Kayne did during her acceptance speech? No. I just stated that I am not a fan of her music. That doesn't mean I was cheering when  I found out what he did. Nobody deserves that. Even if her video consisted of her just staring at a wall and the song was about a pile of dirt, she won, she deserves to say her acceptance speech without interruptions.

And on the flip-side, just because that happened to her, does not make her an amazing artist. Yeah, it was a crappy move on Kanye's part and good for her for not decking him, but that does not make her music any better than it was before the incident.

1) I don't like country
2) Her songs are really juvenile. I'm past the days of crying over a guy because he does not have feelings for me. If he does not like me, I move on. I've never been the type of girl that believes I deserve a guy more than the person he is currently with. Songs like "Jesse's Girl", "Saving All My Love for You" and "Don't Cha" have much better lyrics that are not as, dare I say it, pathetic.
And if I am going to make literary analogies, I am going to make sure they are correct. Romeo and Juliet were not meant to be together. "Star-crossed lovers" essentially boils down to the relationship being doomed from the start. Hence their deaths at the end of the play. I would never want that. And their deaths aren't even romantic. He kills himself because he believes she is dead? REALLY? Man up. Get over it, you are young. That is not a romantic way to die in the name of love. Now if some madman were throwing ninjastars at Juliet and Romeo jumped in the way so he would get the struck, that is romantic. That is dying for your love. I'm not saying anything bad about the play itself, its just not something to model your relationships after. And someone should tell Taylor Swift that a scarlet letter is not a good thing. Calling yourself a scarlet letter is also not a good thing.

I have some respect for her since she writes her own stuff, but I am not a fan.

So the point of this story was: Just because I am not a fan of Taylor Swift does not mean I validate what happened to her at the VMA's and if you think that, you are childlike.

Ok, onto the next part.

I was going to write about the songs I Gotta Feelin and Party in the U.S.A  and how the lyrics are ridiculous but I've lost interest on that topic while writing about Taylor Swift.

I went to see Journey on Wednesday and it was AMAZING.Filipeno Steve Perry is incredible! Which brings me to my next topic: musicians.

I have concluded that I cannot be left alone with a talented musician. If all you can do is play the triangle, bagpipes, or accordion you are safe. Watching F.S.P (Filipino Steve Perry) perform, had I gained the ability to teleport to him onstage, there could have been trouble. His voice was incredible and the way he jumped around onstage was very entertaining. F.S.P is an amazing performer with great presence onstage.  I'm really surprised that I did not gain the ability to float to Bon Jovi when I saw him perform. His hotness radiated from the screens. *drool*

Its a good thing I was not in my early twenties during the hair band phase. I think Sebastian Bach is gorgeous. Joel Hoekstra, who is currently the lead guitarist for Night Ranger, has that long hair band hair. I text my dad and asked him if it was ok if I married him. He did not respond which is probably the safest thing to do in that situation.

Bon Jovi had great 80's hair and who could forget my love of Hanson? I probably would have been a groupie in the 80's which is why its a good thing that I was born in '86.

I've finally caught up with Glee and I am IN LOVE with the teacher, Will Schuester. He has a great voice, he speaks spanish, and he's a decent guy. Plus he's hot. Its a good thing he is a fictional character. And the actor is only six years older than I am so at least I am getting closer to my age.

Bad things could happen if left alone with a talented musician.

Today, ladies and gentlemen, I reached a new low.

My father and I were talking on the phone and he says "I thought about you today" and I asked him what made him think of me.

He replies with: "I was listening to the John Tesh Radio Show," never a good sign, by the way, "and he was talking about singles and where to meet people."

This is not going to be pleasant to hear.

"He said that you should go to different grocery stores and clubs and other places that you don't normally go, that way you can meet new people."

Thank you Captain Obvious a.k.a John Tesh.

Obviously, if you go to the same places, chances are you will be running into the same people. People are creatures of habit. People are going to go to the clubs that they are used to going to and they are going to go to the grocery stores that are near their homes.

So clearly, if you want to meet new people, go to new places!

So after I gave my reasons why I would not be listening to Mr. Tesh's advice (which I will go into in a moment), I quickly changed the subject.

I'm glad my father sees me as a single, desperate, spinster woman who needs love. He must be so proud.

Yes, I have been single for while. Yes, sometimes it sucks. But you know what? I really don't care. I am so tired of creepy guys and all I hear from my friends who have active dating lives are stories of getting screwed over. And honestly, I don't want to get screwed over or stalked anytime soon. I'm perfectly happy being single. I am busy enough without trying to juggle a man. Ask Christina and Brittney what kind of men approach us and you will agree it is much safer to stay single.

Granted, if Harrison Ford walked in right now and wanted to take me to dinner and movie, after figuring out how he got into my apartment, I would go with him and tell the roommate not to wait up for me. I would also be calling into work tomorrow.

Here are a few reasons I don't go to random clubs and new grocery stores every week:

1) I hate driving in downtown Orlando, which is where most of the clubs are located
2) I am not going to a grocery store in East Jesus just to meet a man that I will have to drive back out to East Jesus to see.
3) I have a beacon that attracts creepers and douchebags. If I venture to a club in Downtown Orlando, I am really scared of who I will meet. Do I need to remind you of Colonel Sanders? How about Crater Face twenty years later with his Australian friend? At both Cheers and Jellyrolls (the bars I frequent the most), I have people who are there to watch my back. Both who are with me and who work there. I am safe. And at Jellyrolls more often than not the people there are tourists so the chances of running into them again are slim to none.
4) I refuse to dress up to go to the grocery store.
5) Downtown Orlando is kind of far from my place. I am not going to waste money on gas to go down there.
6) I get into Cheers and Jellyrolls for free. I'm not paying a cover charge!

But I have been to new places. I recently went to Gators and CityWalk for the first time. I would go to both again.

As for new grocery stores, no thank you. I will stick to the Wal-Mart and the Target 5 minutes from my apartment.

Thank you and goodnight.

I do not like Father Guido Sarducci.

I think this stems from the Casper movie when his head turns around. It freaked me out as a kid and I have not liked him ever since.

That's all.

These Are my Confessions...

I have something to confess. I have been in denial for quite sometime and am now ready to tell this to the world. Let me give a little background info first.

I have loved Saturday Night Live since I can remember. I honestly think I was born six weeks early on a Saturday so that I could see that night's episode.  I was quoting Hanz and Franz in the first grade. While everyone else was watching Saved By the Bell, I was watching Chris Farley and Adam Sandler start their careers.

That being said, the original Not Ready for Prime-Time Players, have always held a special place in my heart. They started it all. I include Bill Murray in this equation only because he joined in the second season while the show was still developing. I appreciate every one of them for their job on their show and while other seasons may have had weaker cast members on the show (Jimmy Fallon, Casey Wilson, Melanie Hutsell), I believed the first batch was perfection.

I am ready to admit that I really do not feel this way. There is one original that I do not care for. And that one is...

Chevy Chase

While I appreciate that him being on the show helped launch its success. I feel, however, that he is not that funny, came off as too arrogant (which is made clear by him leaving the show during the second season), and I do not like how he won't stop blinking while saying "Live from New York, its Saturday Night!".

The first season elevated him above the rest and it wasn't until he left, I feel the others finally got a chance to shine.

I have been watching my SNL on DVD recently and have seen the progression. WHile the first season has funny moments, SNL really did not start reaching its true potential with that cast until the second season. Until Chevy left the show.

The Vacation movies were decent. The only movie of his I really enjoy is Three Amigos. I love Steve Martin and Martin Short (Ed Grimley, anyone?). The only other thing I enjoy with him in it is the You Can Call me Al music video. That is love.

I'm sure since he really doesn't have a career anymore, he has humbled quite a bit and maybe I could enjoy him.

If You See Us in the Club, We'll Be Acting Real Nice. If You See Us on the Floor, You'll Be Watching

Christina and I cannot go out alone. Something ALWAYS happens. We decided to venture out to CityWalk last week and it was, well, interesting. I'll break down the evening club by club.

There was a convention going on till 11, so until about 10:45 we sat outside and chatted. Getting eyed at by many creepers. The one who actually had the guts to come up to Christina actually did it in a respectful way and he did not linger. Props to him. I wish the rest of the guys would have been as decent.

Red Coconut Club

I really liked the feel of this place. There was a small dance floor for those wishing to dance and plenty of tables for those wanting to chat. It was early in the night, so the dance floor was empty. We did not stay long due to the amount of staring that was going on in our direction.

Pat O'Brien's

We arrived here just as it was opening. We each ordered a Smirnoff and sat at a table in the back. Before continuing with the story, I would like to state for the record that I love music. Just because a particular dueling piano bar is where I choose to go, it does not mean I would form a biased opinion and walk in thinking that this place was second rate. I had fun at Howl and the Moon when I went in KC.

That being said, that place sucked. The two piano men weren't even playing together. When they weren't playing, they were either talking to another piano man or shining a light in a person's face. Occasionally, they would sit there with a blank look on their face.

The had no passion behind what they were singing. In fact, out of the 6 or 8 songs we stayed for, the only song they did not speed through was "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues". They played major crowd pleasers such as "Piano Man" and "Don't Stop Believin" when the bar was mostly empty and the crowd wasn't into the show yet. Not to mention they butchered both of those songs. Ask me to do my impression of "Don't Stop Believin" sometime. You could not understand that man at ALL.

There is a little fence around the stage separating you from the pianomen. I find it uninviting. We decided to leave when they started butchering their third Billy Joel song. I couldn't handle the slaughter, so we decided to go dance.

The Groove

I was expecting a fun atmosphere here. WRONG. First, the guy checking id's was a super creep and I am 95% sure he said Christina smelled good. The D.J. was horrible! He kept playing these songs that were awkward to dance to, not to mention, ones that were not that popular.  The dance floor was fairly empty. A few couples were dancing, one guy was pop and locking and believed he was better than he was (I wish KJ would have been there!), and there were a few men eyeing us.

First let's talk about the pop-locking guy. He was mediocre at best. He would not move with the beat of the song. But the thing is, he thought he was amazing. Someone was recording him and he blew a kiss at the camera. Really? REALLY? Really. Luckily, we had him to mock. Then the men started to gain courage.

There was one in white that decided to dance behind Christina. I saw what he was attempting to do because he was not that smooth. He was trying to "accidentally" bump into her so she was turn to see what hit her and he would strike up a conversation. Luckily, I kept pulling us away from him. Then the one in the black shirt came up and started talking to us. He asked Christina her name and she replied with "Victoria". When asked for mine I couldn't think of a horrible name to give out so I just said "Vanessa". He introduced himself and we found out that he was from Spain. Exciting! He wasn't too bad looking either.

He left us along for a bit and the white shirt man came back and just grabbed our hands. Um. Excuse me? He passed me off to one of his friends who was also wearing white. These guys were Italian. This guy could not dance at all. He was trying though. We talked a little bit and I gave him fake info, of course. I'm sure Christina was doing the same thing to her guy (for the record she started off the conversation with him with "I have a boyfriend") so I'm sure when they compared stories they would have realized something was wrong.

Here's the deal. I don't like to be touched. Seriously. I can handle my job and I won't go into detail about why. But when I am outside of work, don't touch me unless we're cool. I don't want to dance with random guys especially since the current form of "dance" for people is pretty much sex on the dance floor with your clothes on. We had better be on more than a fake name basis if you are expecting that from me. I have to know you to feel comfortable hugging me, etc. I get very self concious while dancing so I really do not like random guys coming up to me and dancing. Especially if they try to get touchy-feely.

The guy tried to turn me around and feel up my sides. Not cool. I felt really uncomfortable. So I grabbed his hands. Just then the DJ plays "Poison" by Bel Biv Devoe. I like this song, don't get me wrong, but this is not exactly the thing you want to play to fill up your empty dance floor. That being said, I would have actually enjoyed dancing to this song not swimming in the sea of awkwardness, which is what happened. The guy with Christina was actually being respectful and not touching her. Why couldn't I lie about having a boyfriend?

He played some Lady Gaga next (finally, something good) and I was able to break away from the guy and we all danced together with no touching involved. We said we had to go and quickly left.

Rising Star

This place actually had promise. They guy checking id's here said that if we hadn't paid for our tickets already, he would have let us in for free (score!) and he wasn't a creep! Double Win! We sat down for a few minutes but no one was onstage singing. We had no desire to get onstage ourselves so we decided to go back to "Red Coconut Club" to see if people were dancing.

When we walked out, we decided to walk by Latin Quarter. On our way this creeper hit on Christina on behalf of his friend. Denied. Then we see the Italian guys with their friends, we waved and did not venture to Latin Quarter.

Red Coconut Club Revisited

More people were on the dance floor this go around. We went to the corner of the club where nobody could see us. We were pretty much done with creepers. Then the DJ played "Cupid Shuffle", we went onto the main floor and taught everyone how to do it. Yeah, it was sad that nobody knew how to do the dance, especially since they explain what to do in the song. Nothing too eventful happened here. The DJ was far better than at the "Groove", which was a plus.

We stopped by "Latin Quarter" one last time to find out it was not open on Mondays. We then left.

I had fun and would go there again, but with a bigger group.